Tayanna: “We never know what’s really behind the pretty picture”
The owner of a magnificent vocal Tayanna writes all of her songs herself. And all of them are not like one another – probably because they were written by a man who has been through and experienced a lot. We talked to Tayanna about the most important thing in her life.
About Breakups. There have been many meetings and partings in my life. I went through a very difficult breakup with the father of Daniel, my son. It was painful-but it was necessary, so that at some point I would wake up and realize: you can’t dissolve into a relationship, you can’t make the other person the center of your universe. I used to crave love so much that I subconsciously “tied” a man to me and completely forgot about my own needs. You can’t do that. And as I realize now, every time I was hurt, I learned something. Every man was my teacher. But now I know for sure that the only person responsible for my happiness is myself.
My man. Right now I’m not in a relationship, I’m single. And I’m comfortable enough on my own. It’s time to finally get to know the real you: learn to respect your needs, listen to your desires, be a friend to yourself. However, I am not a loner by nature and I know for a fact that my beloved is somewhere near. We’ll meet when we’re both ready for it. And I believe it will be an equal relationship between two mature individuals, with a lot of lightness and freedom. We will always have something to talk about, the commonality of values and interests is probably the only thing fundamentally important to me. Now I am in the process of inner transformation, I am accumulating energy, confidence, love for myself. I’m filling up – and I feel like I’ll soon be ready to share this state with the one I love. That’s when we meet.
When I look back on my past, I realize that the kind of man you are is the kind of man you are given from above. So I do not see much point in writing all these “100 qualities of my man” and other wish-lists. Just become, to begin with, the kind of woman you yourself will fall in love with. And then the fateful meeting will happen by itself!
About Faith. I had gone to church before, but I have only recently come to a real, deep faith. Now I fully trust in God and know that everything that happens in my life is a plan from above and that everything works for my good. I remember before, when I was feeling bad, I used to scream: “God, You love everyone! Why did You let this happen in my life?” Now such questions are gone – there is an understanding that I have my own way, perhaps not always a smooth one. But mine is unique. And my part of the job is to do my best in every area and not to worry about anything and also not to compromise my conscience. The rest will be taken care of from above.
About taste in things. My mother worked as a seamstress in a factory. I remember going to her work after school, to this huge shop with sewing machines, steamers, tailor’s scissors-all of it humming, hissing, clanking. Since then I’ve probably been afraid of sewing machines: I think they’re going to stitch me up . But at home, my mother sewed real model things! In a few hours I could make a fancy dress for myself from a magazine called BundaModern, and they made me a Snowflake costume for a New Year’s Eve matinee. I’ve always been the most beautiful snowflake, and my mom was the most beautiful woman in town (Tayanna from Chernivtsi – ed.) . I wonder how she had so much energy – she could have had enough energy for ten people! After a day at the shop, she would come home, feed, clean, cook – and then sit down to sew and create a masterpiece overnight! Well, like every girl, I always wanted to be like my mother – I think the foundation of my style was laid in my childhood by my mother.
About publicity. I hardly ever post personal photos on social networks, photos with my son, with my family. Private life is called that because it should not be public. I can still understand if a person is a blogger and makes money that way. Then it must produce attractive content every day. Why else?! First of all, it takes up a lot of time – the time that you could spend on real live communication, on self-development, on rest, finally. And secondly, all these Instagram-worlds, all this parallel reality is, by and large, fiction and deception. We never know what’s really behind the pretty picture. I can only guess how difficult it is to make “happy pictures” and hurrah captions to them, when in fact, the soul is scratching. I can’t do that. If I’m sad, I want to be alone with myself; if I’m happy, I have no need to shout it to the world. Happiness, in fact, loves silence. When you find it, you want to hold it reverently in the palms of your hands and hide it away from prying eyes.
About Alan Badoev. A few years ago Alan not only came into my life, he turned it upside down completely. Alan Badoev is a gift from above for me. I learn a lot from him and follow his advice. Alan is the man you want to follow and achieve your goals with. With his appearance, I spread my wings.
Olga Koval