Alyona Shoptenko: “I believe that a woman’s strength is her adaptability.

The Ukrainian choreographer-director, master of sports of international class, world champion in ballroom dancing
Alyona Shoptenko
became the main heroine of the digital cover of Woman Magazine. We talked to Alena about the power of women, childhood bullying, and time in quarantine. Readers will also find out in a blitz interview about the best day of her life and when Alena doesn’t want to dance. 

Alena, you recently wrote online that women can be very strong-willed and independent, hard working and earning. Or she could cry from nothing and curl up on her mother’s chest. What do you think is a woman’s advantage – her strength or her weakness?

Women are very different by nature, and I believe that a woman’s strength is in her adaptability. The modern girl can be different, strong and weak at the same time. And it’s important to be able to use one side or the other for good.

Do you give free rein to your emotions or do you control laughter, smiling, anger, tears?

I am a person who is used to controlling my emotions. I can keep them to myself, but when I’m around people close to me, I don’t always manage to hide them, and I don’t have to. Control of emotions depends on the person, on the situation. Control is certainly an important aspect of our lives, but you can’t hold them back all the time. You have to accept them and be able to allow yourself to have them. Otherwise you could boil over (smiling – ed.).

Society often describes what an ideal woman should be in the twenty-first century, but what traits would you highlight for modern men?

I don’t divide into modern men and non-modern men, but I can tell you what is important to me in a man in general. The ability to fit the situation. Of course, it is important for a man to be strong and emphatic where the situation requires it, but still, how wonderful when a man does not hesitate to be sensual and gentle where and when it is necessary. To put it simply, a frown on the eyebrows of men would be very nice to add a gentle smile for someone who really needs it right now. 

Tell us about your childhood. What’s the very first memory you have?

I immediately remember the day I was brought to dance at the age of six. All the children were placed in a circle. It was a selection of the able-bodied into the group. We were told to walk in a circle to the rhythm of the music. And those who succeeded were led out of this circle. I was walking to music and was asked to step aside, which meant I was being taken. But I didn’t want to stop walking to the beat, I really liked it, and I always came back into the circle. So the teacher took me out three times, until she called my parents (smiling – editor’s note).

Bullying made you want to quit dancing. How do you stay committed to your dreams, regardless of the obstacles?

Yes, it was really hard because of the bullying in the collective. Especially since I didn’t have a relationship with the dance parterre because of the big age difference. At that point, I was following what my parents told me. You had to be resilient, hold on and move on, not paying attention to anything. That’s what I was doing. At that point I wanted to quit dancing, but my mother always found the right words to convince me otherwise. My parents taught me to understand that you can’t achieve anything without work. I’m very grateful to them for that.

You became the choreographer of the film Numbers. Tell us about your new experience. What was new to you?

It was my first experience working on a film as a choreographer. I felt a huge difference between working on a TV project and in the movies. The film has a completely different atmosphere, different values, a different team approach to the work and the result. I felt a great responsibility, since the film “Numbers” was based on a play by Oleg Sentsov. I really liked working in the team with Akhtem Seytablaev. It turns out that before that we danced with him in the  “Dancing with the Stars” and worked on my turf, and now I got on his. He’s an amazing director and director, and I learned a lot. Working with actors, in the pavilion, on location, is not so much about technique and movement, but more about emotion and atmosphere appropriate to the film. My task was to stage a dance for 50 actors of mass scenes. It was new and unusual for me, but I really hope I got through it. Working on this The film left an imprint in my heart forever. 

In what other areas would you like to prove yourself?

I’ve always been very interested in acting and would love to play in a movie. I would also like to try my hand at entrepreneurship. I’ve always dreamed of my own business and my own product. I would like to create a team with which I could implement really interesting and useful projects. 

Your YouTube project, ShoShow, is about a woman who has given her whole life to her profession, learning how to live and everything else. What changes have happened to you? What have you learned?

For now, unfortunately, we have suspended the filming of ShoShow. The quarantine made its adjustments. But personally, working on this project and interacting with the characters on the show gave me a lot of new insights. First of all, I learned that you should never betray yourself. We often adjust to something or someone, neglecting our own needs and real desires. The most important thing is to be honest and true to yourself. Don’t be afraid of the new and hold on tightly to the old. It’s important to strive for self-sufficiency and to walk the road you want to walk. And, of course, it’s very important to appreciate the people who walk beside you.

Are you now fully devoted to your family? How do your evenings go as a family?

Honestly, I’m glad that because of the quarantine there was an opportunity to spend more time with the child and in the household. It’s such a blessing! I watch his development all the time, his little successes. It changes so much, grows so fast, and you want to capture every second in your memory. Also quarantine put me in the kitchen and I began to learn the wonderful world of baking. I don’t know how it will affect the figure of the household, but I learned how to make great pies. I spend a lot of time on my development. A lot of online lessons, live broadcasts, and platforms have appeared, so you can make yourself better from the comfort of your own home. And evenings are my favorite time – I put the baby to bed. We read different books. He’s already starting to talk and these last few sleepy minutes together are very special.

You once wrote on your Instagram, “I get so mad at him sometimes for not being home, for work weekends, for late-night phone calls, for ‘everything’s on fire.'” How often do you feel the need for a strong shoulder by your side? Did your husband pay more attention after your candid post?

If something changed immediately after an honest post, then Instagram could probably solve most of the problems on the planet (laughs – ed.).

You know, watching how hard my husband is going through quarantine and inactivity, I am becoming more and more convinced that work is one of the most important parts of his life for him and I definitely will not come between him and it. Being the wife of a workaholic is certainly difficult, but I would be more upset if I were the wife of a man who constantly lies on the couch. And to be frank, I’m lucky in that when I have a need for a strong shoulder – I always have one. 

Do you arrange romantic dates? Do you have “your” special place?

Let’s be frank. This is a difficult time for romantic dates. We have certain “weekend rituals” that we manage not to change even in quarantine. And it’s also worth noting that, thanks to the current situation, we are talking more and, I think, starting to be more frank and understand each other. 

Leave a message for yourself that you would love to read 10 years later.

At such a difficult time for everyone, we must remember that this too shall pass. You have to learn to accept what’s going on around you. The trials of life make us more experienced, and experience is the best ally. I would wish myself strength, patience, and confidence that all will indeed be well. I also asked myself to remember how important it is to allow myself to be weak sometimes.